About Dysfunctional Couples

Sophomore (College 2nd year) ・English ・MLA

Dysfunctional Partners

Dysfunctional partners are those that, for one cause or another, are unable to carry out their work. Failure to fulfill their duties implies that they do not provide moral care to their mate, do not encourage contact with them, and do not adequately criticize them. Furthermore, they do not plan, if at all, for living in the face of the outside world. Since they love each other, some couples chose to stay in dysfunctional relationships. Some partners today, though, live in partnerships for reasons other than marriage. This paper explores five possible explanations for why this occurs.

Fear of Failure and Embarrassment

First, most people if not all hate embarrassments and failure. In relationships too, some couple choose to remain since they fear that by quitting than their relationship may be perceived as a failure. That kind of a perception comes with embarrassment to the couple and therefore, one would rather stay to avoid the embarrassment. Many are never willing or even ready to face the shame especially among family and friends that come with what many may refer to as "failed relationship" or "relationship failure." The situation may be even worse where one surrounded by people who area in successful relationships.

Staying Together for the Kids

The second reason which is quite and understandable one is remaining together for the kids' sake. Even though two unhappy parents do not well serve children, couples still find this a reason to remain together. The children get exposed to the active conflicts between their parents which is not good for them, but still some couple would perceive this to be better than moving away from each other. However, some couples resort to using kids as a reason for remaining together even when they have other reasons other than the kids.

Cost of Separation

The third reason concerns the cost of separation. Some couples contemplate separation but they choose to remain together due to the cost of securing a successful separation like through a divorce. Some couples look at the consequences that follow actions such as divorce to be expensive since they may have to support the partner. Therefore, they would rather remain in the relationship even when sometimes the concerns are camouflaged for different reasons. In such cases remaining together becomes preferable as the cheaper option.

Belief in the Nonexistence of Successful Relationships

Also, the notion that successful relationships do not exist. Some couples believe that there is no such a thing as a successful relationship and therefore they opt to stay in an unhappy relationship that they really would love to end. Factors like one's early life observation and experience may force one or both partners to remain in a relationship even though he or she or even both wish they could bring to an end. In case such couples fail to seek for help like from a therapist then often they end up living in serious disharmony and unhappiness.

Fear of Extremity: Leaving the Relationship

Finally, the perception that leaving a relationship is so extreme and therefore should be averted at all costs. Some couples choose to remain in a dysfunctional relationship since they see their relationship as good enough or not bad enough. Such couples may think that even though the relationship is dysfunctional, it has not gotten to the point that it is intolerable and therefore they just opt to stay till in case it gets intolerable to remain. They may choose to stay since they hold onto hopes that one day things will be better.

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