Others sometimes know us better than we know ourselves

Freshman (College 1st year) ・English ・MLA ・8 Sources

“Others sometimes know us better than we know ourselves” and “he loves me, he loves me not...., Uncertainty can increase romantic attraction” are essays that look at how people get to know each other better and appreciate each other. Despite the fact that each author has a different perspective on human interaction and feelings toward men and women, both authors skillfully structure their perspectives and choose their language. Furthermore, despite the fact that each author's motivation for writing about human relationships and attraction differs, both authors present compelling arguments for their positions. Notably, the work by Vazire and that of Whitchurch significantly do differs mainly in their structure as well as in the philosophy. For instance, Vazire structures her essay majorly, using an alternating perspective (Vazire, Simine, and Erika, 330). She captures very nicely the paradox where other people’s inner feelings rely upon are profoundly mysterious to us and profoundly unknowable. Also, she proves that in many respects we see every day the reality that other people can have insights into other persons dilemma, prejudices that are entirely opaque to their owner (Hannum). Notably, the first paragraph emits a clear and subjective tone. It is followed by the section which switches to a factual and objective tone. It is then seen throughout the essay. However, this is not the case with Whitchurch’s article which employs a personal tone throughout her piece: “based on looking at your Facebook profile, and these men thought they would like you (Whitchurch, Erin, Timothy, and Daniel, 338).
For instance, the book “Others sometimes know us better than we know ourselves” creates a picture where humans tend to see that they know themselves more than what their friends, as well as strangers, know about themselves. However, this is not the case since it is proving that we know ourselves less than what friends have in mind concerning us. Notably, while a person may be accurate in assessing himself or herself, it then occurs that friends, as well as strangers, will then tend to be better barometers who will portray the characters like being creativity and intelligence in understanding what others think about themselves (Oishi, Shigehiro, 1750). In contrast to this, the “He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not…” shows that women tend to be more attracted to their male counterpart whose feeling for the ladies are somewhat unclear. Vazire and Whitchurch contrast their viewpoints of knowledge and women getting attracted to the men for different reasons.
In spite of having a central viewpoint of humanity, Vazire Personality is in the pervasive of how we view different things especially the media such as the Facebook. That is the reason she gives an example by saying that "Everything you touch you leave a mark of your personality," it means that everything that we are involved in we unknowingly leave some traces that people will never forget them (Batra, Rajeev, Aaron and Richard, 14). This shows that a hint of once personality that he or she doesn’t even know somebody else has discovered and recognized it. Whitchurch uses the example of female participant whom he assigns different feedbacks from a group of men who viewed their Facebook profiles. By this case, Whitchurch shows that liking somebody has something to do about with beauty. The similarity in the two indicates that they both used the media in arriving at their conclusion on why to like somebody and on how others tend to know you better than ourselves. However, it is clear that the Whitchurch is uncertain concerning how potential romantic persons do feel about one another in that it increases the level of attraction.
Notably, the personality in the two is seen to consist of different traits which for instance drives Vazire into coming up with the model known as the SOKA that is the self-other knowledge asymmetry. It was to test a group of some volunteers who were to be assigned different tasks. The same is repeated in the essay by Whitchurch though differently. In that Whitchurch rather than using the example of models, he takes real examples of real human being who view the profile status of some males to determine what to love in them (Anderson, 499).
Lastly, the characters displayed by Whitchurch essay are purely women. It differs with Vazire’s article which makes use of both the male as well as the female characters. Through the use of the female characters by Whitchurch, one side is viewed and thus the call that future review of the work to consist of both the male as well as lady characters where the men's attraction would be to the female suitors as well (Lun,957). Vazire differently uses of both characters warm and friendly shows how attention is given to each other. It is by this advice where the people are made to think twice before making final judgments about a particular person. On average, Vazire fails to show that those know one better they know little about that person. The reason is that that person has other ideas that he or she knows that the friends do not.


In conclusion, Vazire and Whitchurch show community in how they view their different work. In both, it is clear that they major their ideas on what happens in the day to day life where we find ourselves getting attracted to somebody. Also, the same is seen in how we tend to find ourselves knowing or having a different perception of others even without them noticing how they are being taken. It, therefore, shows that for others to like and know us it all involves how we interact with and there must be a form of associations. It is not possible to get interested in a person whom they are not influencing us. Therefore, it is necessary to understand that we Vazire and Whitchurch are basing their different arguments on the human perception and are trying to create the understanding of how life is with human interaction.

Works Cited

Anderson, Harlene. "Myths about “not‐knowing”." Family Process 44.4 (2005): 497-504.
Batra, Rajeev, Aaron Ahuvia, and Richard P. Bagozzi. "Brand love." Journal of marketing 76.2 (2012): 1-16.
Hannum, Kelly. Social identity: Knowing yourself, knowing others. Vol. 126. John Wiley & Sons, 2011.
Lun, Janetta, et al. "(Why) do I think what you think? Epistemic social tuning and implicit prejudice." Journal of personality and social psychology 93.6 (2007): 957.
Oishi, Shigehiro, et al. "The role of familiarity in daily well-being: developmental and cultural variation." Developmental psychology 47.6 (2011): 1750.
Vazire, Simine, and Erika N. Carlson. "Others sometimes know us better than we know ourselves." Becoming an active reader. A complete resource for reading and writing. Ed. Eric Henderson, 2nd ed. Don Mills, Ontario: Oxford UP Canada, 2016: 329-336. Print.
Whitchurch, Erin R., Timothy D. Wilson, and Daniel T. Gilbert. "“He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not...” Uncertainty Can Increase Romantic Attraction." Psychological Science 22.2 (2011): 172-175. Becoming an active reader. A complete resource for reading and writing. Ed. Eric Henderson, 2nd ed. Don Mills, Ontario: Oxford UP Canada, 2016: 337-343. Print.

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