Communication Methods

Communication is an integral element that helps to connect human beings. Through communication, one can be capable to know how the other man or woman feels, what they should do, what makes the other individual happy and what irritates them. Communication also determines how we have interaction with people we work with, friends and household. In this paper, I will consider communication with my girlfriend. I stay some miles away from her, and it takes a while before we meet due to the busy schedules that we have in our lives consisting of education. We communicate over the phone via various technologies that are reachable such as what’s app and Skype. Communication usually takes place in the morning before we begin our day and that will be through either of us sending messages. Later in the day, I would call through Skype to check if she is busy and we would talk. The length of the conversation depends on the topic as in some instances; it would last less than ten minutes while in others, it can go up to 30 minutes. Occasionally, I would visit her or she can visit and at that moment, we would have a face to face communication. Through her conversation, I can always know the mood she is in as she talks differently based on what she has experienced. As for me, I usually don’t disclose a lot about what has been happening to me. Most of the conversations revolve around her and the exciting things that have happened to us through the day or planning for what we will do.

Bradley indicates that communication between men and women is different. A good percentage of the men tend to talk less as compared to women. Listening to people of the two genders is different. It is the truth as through the phone conversations or while texting; I tend to get out of words quickly especially when she is done telling me about something, and she suggests we talk over something else. Bradley advises that for the communication to improve, I will need to be creative since I am the one who tends to speak less which is a mistake in communication. I realized I am good at listening but poor in talking. To improve my communication with her, I will need to adjust my talking and I also need to understand what information can be useful to avoid hurting her moods with will create a barrier in communication (Bradley, 2014).

According to Carolyn who has researched on communication between people who are dating, most of the people in the world do not know what the purpose of communication is. She claims that communication is the link that will establish the relationship that the two of you will have. It is the truth as people knew how to communicate, they would find it easy to solve some of the challenges they have and be able to eliminate the barriers to communication. She introduced an essential aspect which she termed it ‘collaborative communication.' Three key things she emphasized that can help to improve communication is focusing on oneself, revealing of feelings and disclosing my wants. Based on this, I feel that I have not been communicating the way it is required as I tend to keep to myself most of the feelings I have (Carolyn, 2009).

In her article, Kathryn indicates that according to psychologists, the study has shown that women what to share emotions when they talk. For men, they share ideas and suggestions, and they usually avoid talking about their feelings. It is the truth as rarely will I tell my girlfriend about how I feel as I feel it is not essential or she may judge me differently. As for her, she communicates to me what took place in the day and the various encounters she had. I will need to speak about my emotions so that she can understand my perspective and that will improve what we can talk about (Kathryn, 2015).

We have different personalities as I am an introvert and she is an extrovert. I speak less while I am good at listening and advising while for her, she speaks more than me. What I have learned is that I need to talk more as this will improve the communication we have despite having a different personality from her. Also, although technology has made communication more comfortable, it is better to have face to face communication often as it will improve the relationship. Through face to face communication, one can be able to understand the other person better since they also communicate through nonverbal styles. Based on what psychologist say about what communication between two people should be, I feel I need to improve my communication skills and patterns. One of the things I have learned is that I need to be more creative to ensure we have a good conversation which is either on the phone or face to face. Creativity will help me to have more information when I talk to her, and the conversation can last for long as compared to the short conversations we have been having. Communication can’t be one way as at times; the other person can feel I am not making enough effort to contribute to what we are talking about.

I also need to improve my nonverbal communication styles as I rarely use them making it difficult for her to understand what I may be communicating. People tend to express their feelings either through words or nonverbal communication. It can be important especially in times when we may be having a conflict. Another vital aspect is I need to allocate more time to communicate to her as this will help to improve the relationship we have. Despite the busy schedule and lack of what we can talk about when we text or call, communication is essential, and it will boil down to the creativity the people have. Spending more time to communicate will improve the experiences we have, and that will ensure we will not experience a situation where we have nothing to talk about. Learning how to communicate will be crucial in helping me to improve the relationship. I have learned the mistakes I have been making and how I can correct them. By comparing what communication should be based on what psychologist have studied and suggested, I believe I will improve my communication. Improving my communication with her will also help me to improve my communication with other people whom I interact with throughout the day.

References

Carolyn Joyce Firestone. (2009). “Communication Between Couples: How to Communicate in a

Relationship.” https://www.psychalive.org/communication-between-couples/

Kathryn Rateliff Rarr. (2015). “Male and Female Communication Styles.”

https://www.livestrong.com/article/1004245-goes-cardigan-sweater-men/

Bradley Margrit. (2014). “Communication — Differences Between Men and Women.”

http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/13970/1/Communication--Differences-Between-Men-and-Women.html