The Deity's Existence

Freshman (College 1st year) ・Philosophy ・MLA

I used to be a firm believer in God's existence. However, I have recently challenged the same, which my Christian friends find strange. Most of my friends have cut ties with me, claiming that a "evil" mind has persuaded me to join a cult. However, I know this isn't true because I've had personal experiences that have caused me to question whether or not God exists. What drew me to this conclusion? We never had access to many facilities or material resources because we were raised in a poor family. My parents both belonged to what Economists refer to as ‘middle class’, struggling to juggle between taking my siblings and I to school and providing needs for the entire extended family of eight; my two parents, three cousins, my sisters and I. I have always prayed strongly for financial success in my family to no avail.

Recently, matters got worse in my life than ever before. First, I lost an uncle who also doubled as my closest friend. Secondly, I could not raise enough funds to support my ailing grandmother. I remembered how I had prayed for financial success consistently. My grandmother would not have reached her final stages of cancer had I been able to pay enough money to fly her into America from abroad to receive better healthcare. Right now I am flashing back on how I have prayed through my entire life for financial success, yet I never tasted any bit of it.

The two current incidences pushed me to begin questioning God’s existence. I could not be able to comprehend why this being, ’God’ would not consider my pleas. I asked myself questions like, “If God exists, why must people suffer?” and “If He had to let us suffer so that we later enjoy, why wouldn’t He take those He loved to enjoy as soon as possible? Why would He let them experience pain first for a later celebration in ‘Heaven’?”

Having experienced a constellation of contradicting thoughts in my mind concerning God’s existence, I opted to conduct research on the same issue. Gericke asks the question,” Why do disagreements exist amongst theorists if indeed one God exists?” (127). Muslims, Jews and Christians disagree on many issues concerning the existence of the same God. For instance, Muslims believe Allah is the only god while Christians oppose this ideology in what I later learnt is referred to as religious exclusivity by Gericke (129). Protestants and Catholics disagree on Mary’s virginity, and further disagree with fellow Protestants with regards to predestination. If they had one general belief and God existed for real, all their thoughts would be mono-directional.

Questioning whether coherence of theism is real came up in my mind when I conducted further research. Theism has a portion that asserts God is omniscient (Gericke 128). If this were true, then it means He can be able to tell what will happen tomorrow. This captured my attention as I related it to my uncle. If God knew he would die, then He would have stopped the incident from occurring. For the first time, I concurred with philosophers who are against omnipotence. I convinced myself that God was not all powerful after all. I argued that perhaps He knew my problems but He did not have the power to solve them, citing the fact that I have been faithfully praying since childhood for the same things.

The Outcome

The question “Does God exist or not?” has now been in my mind for a long time. As earlier stated, my admission essay, which was in line with this controversy, assisted me to conduct further research on the idea. I have never questioned God’s existence before, rather I believed in him without thinking there could possibly exist a contradiction towards his being. After researching on diverse opinions, I realized God actually exists, basing my facts on personal experiences as well as online research.

Astronomy discoveries have depicted beyond doubt that the world as it is did have its beginning. The first man to land on the moon was Neil Armstrong as Hansen (52) observes; but he did not know who created the moon. It must have originated from somewhere. So is the case of the orbits and similarly, planets. The big bang theory and other opinions exist to explain the origin of the universe (Hansen 49). However, what Scientists dodge to mention is the being that created the Big Bang forces or the force behind that which they can explain. In addition to this, philosophers accept that there are moral standards, including the basis of American law policies, which distinguish wrong from right (Peterson 67). How would people be able to distinguish wrong from right? If there were no God then who put in place these ethics?

I have realized I am misguided by the fact that my main prayers have not been answered. I based my doubt in God on financial disability only. I have looked back and realized most of my pleas have been answered by him. I attribute my schooling progress to the level I have reached to this being, God.


I am sure if atheists sense danger they would exclaim, “Oh My God!” involuntarily, enhanced by an adrenaline rush, and some sub-conscious will in them that accepts God. Natural laws govern the universe. Where did they come from? German cosmological theorist Gottfried Leibniz backs my claim by asserting that there is that part of existence which Scientists cannot explain (Petterson 69). It is the same conscience that enables people to distinguish between wrong and right. That unknown which defeats the thought of everyone and everything is God.

Works Cited

Gericke, J. W. "Philosophical interpretations of Exodus 3: 14-a brief historical overview." Journal for Semitics 21.1 (2012): 125-136.

Hansen, James R. First Man: The Life of Neil A. Armstrong. Simon and Schuster, 2012: 47-55.

Peterson, Michael, et al. "Reason & religious belief: an introduction to the philosophy of religion." (2012): 67-69.

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